Shitty Situations & Silver Linings: A 2025 Review
Last year was... well, it was a lot. A lot of good, a lot of bad, and a lot of change. Even with putting out 14 blogs, I didn't manage to share an update every month. Honestly though? I'm surprised I posted that many in the first place. Good job, me.
I'm not going to get into the absolute shit show that was living in the United States in 2025 because I don't have the time (or mental energy) to explain exactly how fucked up everything is, but instead I'll focus on the other factors that influenced my life this past year. I want to close this chapter of life and move into 2026 with a new perspective.
January
For the most part, we stayed home a lot this month and caught up with our friend. The most notable change was a doctor's appointment that ended in a referral to a mental health clinic for assessment. We managed to go to a special holiday lights event one night that was super fun, but otherwise we avoided spending money after the holidays. I learned to put on bird videos for Midna so she'll stop trying to block the computer screen while I work. I can also lure both cats to my heating pad if I really need to focus.
February
Other than a walk around a lake with friends on an unexpectedly warm afternoon and Kendrick's incredible Super Bowl performance, this month was a lot of trying to unwind now that my husband and I had the house to ourselves again. We did manage to fit in a visit to my family later in the month, so enjoy a picture my parents found of me as a cool kid.
March
We made sure to take time to spend together with nightcaps out on the porch to keep tabs on how each other was doing. But otherwise, I didn't really do anything of note other than try to adapt to the new "norm" of adderall. Oh, except that my husband and I got coordinating flash art tattoos to support a local eatery that we really love.
April
By this point in the year, I knew there were big events coming up in the future that were weighing on me. My husband would be taking a trip the following month, a different friend was going to come stay with me for a while they were out of town. A yearly review at work was coming up. My medication was working way better for me than my husband's was working for them, but even that was worrisome. Stress was building, and as much as I tried to ignore it, the fact is that I was already starting to deal with a Crohn's flare up.
May
But I felt it. In my bones. In my gut. I was miserable. My life was just small pockets of time between trips to the bathroom. We attended my cousin's wedding, my husband took that trip to hang with some friends out of state, and my friend came in town and took me out to a fancy dinner as a late birthday present (one much fancier than anything I could afford for myself). But each day, I felt my insides actively fighting against me. My only solace was cute, cuddly, silly cats as I trudged forward.
June
The real silver lining of this month was my art. I made a little system that balanced my desire to smoke weed and stop thinking about my fucking intestines for 5 seconds with continuing to work on the book and video game. I even talked about my art journey for the first time. I was afraid that, if I posted about it when I first picked it back up, I'd just give up again like every time before and it'd be documented. I'm surprised I kept with it, even to this day. I couldn't be more proud of myself for this at such a difficult time.
July
By this point, I'd been flared up so long that my portions had cut in size dramatically. While this was a good thing in and of itself, the motivation was really, "Less goes in, less come out." This change in caloric intake affected my weight, and now I was noticing a slight difference in my body. Just a little. In hindsight, I'm very grateful my hand was forced. I wish I could have just had self-control from the start and avoided all the years of poor health and unhappiness with myself, but it's me. I wouldn't have appreciated it if I'd always had it.
August
The boy climbed in my luggage as I tried to pack for the trip. At the start of the month, though, my family celebrated our anniversary that was the month prior. Somehow, my dad's side of the family all managed to get us the exact same card. Makar also stood in the way as I tried to take a picture of the three cards side by side. We're planning to frame them some day and hang them.
September
Art was really one of the things that helped me through this. Following through on it for the first time in my life. Practicing. Really practicing and trying my best. Continuing when I felt I wasn't doing well or when I didn't think I was doing a good job. Completing it badly but completing it all the same. Also, I had lost enough weight that I felt comfortable taking a picture from a front-on angle of my cat trying to crawl across my lap to steal my bagel.
October
We got to go to a pumpkin patch with my in-laws for the third or fourth year in a row. We went with some friends to see a Halloween concert from a band we all knew before we'd started hanging out as a group. I continued my art journey, making small strides on the book and video games as well. I knew my time would be limited with the holidays coming up, so I had to make the most of this time while I could even though I still wasn't at 100%.
November
We went on our anniversary date night dinner four months late since I could finally eat the decadent food we wanted. Our friend group went out to a night lights art display and had a great time (even though we had no idea it was such a big production). I made my pecan pies for Thanksgiving and we started the holiday rush. I had been wanting a new avatar for my socials, but my husband took a picture of me I actually loved so I drew one but decided I would use it as my art benchmark. I'll redraw that picture now every year to see how my art style has changed. I'm actually looking forward to it.
December
We saw one of my all-time favorite bands on a whim. Yes, I absolutely cried. We even made plans for a NYE date night dinner since the normal friend party had been postponed into 2026. I ended the year feeling like me in a way I hadn't in... well, probably my whole life. I was living the way I had always imagined: having experiences instead of things. Spending my time doing things I love with people and pets that I cherish.
So where does that leave us halfway through January of 2026?
I sure as shit can't speak for you, the reader, but it leaves me excited. I stuck with art. I made progress on my book and games. I've written down countless ideas for additional creative projects. Household chores are less taxing. Plans with friends and family are more frequent. The future looks bright, and I'm enjoying every second of sunlight on my skin.